How Do I Pick the Right Therapist For Me?
Deciding to start therapy is a huge and brave step. But once you’ve made that decision, the process of actually finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming. Where do you even begin?
Keep reading to learn more about what to consider when looking for a therapist, how to start your search, and why finding the right fit truly matters.
Why Finding the Right Therapist Matters
Therapy isn’t just about credentials or specialties—it’s also about connection. When you feel understood, supported, and safe with your therapist, it’s easier to open up, be honest, and make meaningful progress. The right fit can help you feel more empowered, stay consistent with sessions, and ultimately get more out of the experience.
Questions to Ask Before Choosing a Therapist
Before booking that first session, it’s helpful to do a little self-reflection. Knowing what you need—both emotionally and practically—can guide you toward a therapist who feels like the right match.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
What am I hoping to get out of therapy?
Are you looking for tools to manage anxiety, someone to talk to, or long-term support to work through trauma? Defining your personal goals can help you find a therapist whose style best matches your needs.
Do I want a therapist who challenges me or someone a little more passive?
Some people prefer a more interactive, solution-focused approach, while others just need a space to be heard. Think about what has helped you the most in the past and the type of work you hope to accomplish.
How much time and energy can I realistically commit to therapy?
Weekly sessions are most common, especially when just starting out with a new therapist, but even biweekly or even monthly therapy can be effective if you're consistent (and the frequency is appropriate for your current needs). Consider your schedule and emotional capacity when deciding how often you can attend.
Is there a specific modality or style that I’m hoping to try?
If you’ve done therapy before, you might already know what methods resonate with you. If you’re new, that’s okay too—just stay curious. Most therapists are happy to explain their approach and how it might help.
Questions to Ask Your Potential Therapist:
What does a typical session look like?
Some therapists are more structured, while others take a conversational, open-ended approach. Knowing what to expect can help you feel more comfortable and prepared.
How do you measure progress in therapy?
This question helps you understand how they track growth, and whether their approach aligns with your goals and values.
What methods or approaches do you use in your practice?
If you’re curious about specific types of therapy (like CBT, EMDR, DBT, or psychodynamic therapy), ask if they use those. And if they mention something unfamiliar, ask them to explain—it might be a great fit you hadn’t considered!
Where to Start Your Search for a Therapist
Ask for a Referral
Start by asking your primary care doctor, other healthcare providers, or trusted professionals for recommendations. They often have connections in the mental health field.
Use Online Therapy Directories
These platforms let you filter by location, specialty, insurance, and more:
Psychology Today – One of the most popular directories, with detailed bios and filters.
TherapyDen – Inclusive and socially conscious, with a focus on diverse identities and approaches.
GoodTherapy – Offers a mix of therapist listings and educational resources.
Zencare – Curated, high-quality listings with introductory videos and verified credentials.
If you are looking to stay in-network with your insurance company, you can also ask them directly for a list of providers that accept your coverage; however, keep in mind that many therapists with niche specializations do not accept insurance. If you have out-of-network benefits, platforms like Thrizer can help to make your sessions more affordable.
Speak to Trusted People
Friends, family members, or coworkers may have seen a therapist they loved—or know someone who has. If you’re comfortable, ask around.
Making the Most of Your Therapy Journey
Set Goals (But Stay Flexible)
You don’t need everything figured out, but having a general sense of what you want to work on—like managing anxiety, building confidence, or healing from past experiences—can give sessions direction. At the same time, be open to where the process leads you. Growth isn’t always linear!
Be Honest, Even When It’s Uncomfortable
Therapy is a safe space to be real. The more open you are, the more your therapist can help. Vulnerability can take time, and that’s okay—trust builds over time.
Be Consistent
Some sessions might feel slower than others, but consistency is key. Showing up—even on hard days—is a big part of building momentum and trust, both with yourself and with your therapist.
Reflect on and Practice What You Learn
Therapy isn’t just about what happens in the room. Try applying what you learn—whether it’s a grounding technique, setting a boundary, or challenging negative thoughts—in your everyday life. That’s where the real change happens.
Final Thoughts
Choosing to start therapy is a courageous first step. Knowing what you’re looking for in a therapist can make the process feel less overwhelming and more intentional.
At Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy, we offer a team of skilled therapists who bring compassion, insight, and their own unique approaches to every session. If you're ready to begin your journey, we invite you to schedule a free 15-minute call with our intake coordinator to learn more about our services and find the right therapist for you!
