Maternal Mental Health Matters Too
Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs in the world. We are told to care for our children, spouses, and the household, all while working, cooking, cleaning, shopping, and running errands. Rarely, do we get the opportunity to stop and reflect on what WE need from ourselves or others. It is obvious why up to 1 in 5 women experience a maternal mental health disorder in the postpartum period. These disorders can include postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, or postpartum psychosis. Especially in our culture where women are expected to return to work weeks after giving birth, with limited resources or benefits to support feeding their babies.
The judgment that exists in a woman's world is never-ending. Either we work too much, or we “only” stay-at-home, we are too thin, or too heavy, we are too soft with our kids, or we are too harsh. We can never win. When it comes to feeding our babies, there is great judgment regarding breastfeeding which can be impossible for some women, or too daunting for their mental health. We should not have to justify our choices as women, but unfortunately this is our reality even in 2024.
The pressures of childbearing, working, maintaining a household, being a “good wife and mother,” are almost too much for any one person to bear. It is no wonder why so many women are suffering in silence, holding resentment for their spouses, and struggling to remain afloat with all the never-ending responsibilities. It is time for us women to prioritize our needs. It is impossible to take care of others, without taking care of ourselves first. A favorite metaphor comes to mind: “Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.” This can look like different things to different people, but prioritizing your mental health is of utmost importance. It will help transform you into a better spouse, mother, friend, person, and employee.
Here are some helpful tips to implementing “me” time:
Schedule 15 minutes of “me” time per day. Put it in your calendar - even if it is just 15 minutes. Fill that time with something that makes you smile.
Practice 4-7-8 breathing before jumping out of bed in the mornings. This practice entails inhaling through your nose for 4 seconds, holding your breath in your diaphragm for 7 seconds, and exhaling through your mouth for 8 seconds. Do this a few times in a row.
Give yourself permission to say “no”. Saying no to a social function that feels too overwhelming, or a favor someone asks of you is OKAY. You do not need to justify or even make excuses as to why you are saying no.
Attempt to take a daily walk even if it is around the block for 5-10 minutes. Sunshine and Vitamin D are powerful tools; use them.
Ask for help. From your partner, friend, or family member. Learn how to say, “I am struggling and need you to do this for me today”. Reach out to a mental health professional who can give you the tools to take back control of your life.
Remember that you are not alone in this. Share your vulnerabilities with friends and family. Women are warriors.
Gabrielle Moskovitz is a therapist at Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy LLC specializing in Maternal Mental Health. She is passionate about working with women going through infertility, pregnancy loss, postpartum anxiety and depression, and struggles with motherhood. Gabrielle is currently pursuing a Perinatal Mental Health Certification (PMH-C) through PSI (Postpartum Support International).
