How Do I Stop Being a Perfectionist?
Striving to do your best is great—but are your high expectations keeping you from fully enjoying life? Keep reading to learn how to recognize harmful perfectionism and discover strategies to overcome its negative consequences.
What is Perfectionism?
The term “perfectionist” is often used casually, but what does it really mean? Is striving for perfection always a bad thing, or does it only become harmful at a certain point? When do perfectionistic tendencies shift from a healthy motivator to a source of stress and self-criticism?
Although perfectionism itself is not a standalone diagnosis, the DSM-V recognizes it as a contributing factor in various mental health conditions. Perfectionism is most commonly linked to anxiety, OCD, depression, and eating disorders.
A study published by the National Library of Medicine found that perfectionism can be broken down into several key traits, including:
Concern over mistakes (past or present)
Personal standards
Doubts about actions
Preoccupation with organization
While perfectionism can manifest in different ways and there is no universally accepted definition, these main components underly most cases.
When Should Perfectionism Be Considered a Problem?
Perfectionism is deeply personal and the threshold for when it becomes harmful varies between individuals. So how do you know when your perfectionistic tendencies are doing more harm than good?
Here are some signs that perfectionism may be negatively impacting your life:
Unfinished Projects - Giving up because something is not turning out exactly the way you envisioned.
Procrastination and Avoidance - Putting off (or never even starting) a task because, if it will not adhere to your standards from that start, it isn’t worth your effort at all.
Paralysis by Analysis - The inability to make decisions due to fear of failure and the pressure for immediate perfection.
Chronic Dissatisfaction - Feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough.
Preoccupation with Past Mistakes - Dwelling on past missteps and letting them impact your mood and self-worth.
Negative Self-Talk - Engaging in defeatist or self-critical thinking as a result of unrealistic expectations.
If perfectionism is interfering with your daily life in any of these ways, it may be time to explore strategies to manage it more effectively.
Coping Strategies for Perfectionism
If your perfectionistic tendencies are interfering with your day-to-day life, these strategies can help:
Practicing Self-Compassion - Speak to yourself with kindness. The more you challenge self-criticism, the more natural positive self-talk will become.
Set Smaller, Realistic Goals - Break large tasks into manageable steps and set realistic expectations for yourself. Achievable goals foster a sense of progress rather than constant disappointment.
Embrace Mistakes - If mistakes are made — which they always are — use them as opportunities to learn and grow.
Acceptance - Focus your energy on what you can change rather than stressing over things beyond your control.
By implementing these strategies, you can begin to loosen perfectionism’s grip and find more balance in your life.
Final Thoughts
Perfectionism can be difficult to define, but if it starts to interfere with your daily life or overall well-being, know that change is possible. By practicing self-compassion and using the strategies above, you can begin to break free from harmful perfectionistic patterns.
If you or someone you know could benefit from more support regarding perfectionistic tendencies, Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy is here to help. Our experienced therapists specialize in helping adolescents and adults struggling with perfectionism, and we also offer group therapy for those who would benefit from seeing that they’re not alone. Schedule a free call with our intake coordinator today to learn more and get started!
