Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work (& What To Do Instead)
As the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, many of us feel a surge of motivation to tackle our goals with the promise of a fresh start. New Year’s resolutions are often seen as the ultimate reset button—a chance to become the healthiest, happiest, and most productive version of ourselves. But by February, most resolutions have fizzled out, leaving us frustrated and feeling like failures. Why does this happen, and how can we set ourselves up for real, lasting change?
The Problem with New Year’s Resolutions
They’re Too Vague
Resolutions like "get healthier" or "be less stressed" sound great but lack specificity. Without clear, actionable steps, it’s hard to make progress.They’re Unrealistically Ambitious
It’s tempting to set lofty goals, like working out every day or completely overhauling your diet. However, extreme changes are unsustainable and often lead to burnout.They’re All-or-Nothing
Resolutions often rely on perfectionism. Missing one workout or eating a slice of cake feels like failure, which can lead to giving up entirely.They’re Driven by External Pressure
Many resolutions are fueled by societal expectations or comparison to others rather than personal values. This makes it harder to stay motivated when the going gets tough.They Lack Emotional Preparation
Change is hard, especially when it involves undoing deeply ingrained habits. Resolutions often overlook the emotional and psychological work needed to support those changes.
A Better Approach: Intentions, Not Resolutions
Instead of making traditional resolutions, try setting intentions and focusing on mental health-friendly strategies for sustainable growth. Here’s how:
Start Small and Be Specific
Break big goals into manageable steps. Instead of "exercise more," try "go for a 15-minute walk three times a week." These smaller goals build confidence and momentum.Focus on Your “Why”
Reflect on why a goal matters to you. If you want to prioritize your mental health, think about how it will improve your daily life and relationships. Connecting to your "why" provides motivation that lasts.Practice Self-Compassion
Progress isn’t linear, and setbacks are part of the process. Treat yourself with kindness when things don’t go as planned, and view mistakes as learning opportunities rather than failures.Set Process-Oriented Goals
Instead of fixating on outcomes (e.g., losing 10 pounds), focus on habits that will get you there (e.g., drinking more water, eating balanced meals). Process-oriented goals emphasize actions you can control.Track Progress and Celebrate Wins
Keep a journal or use an app to track your efforts. Celebrate small victories to reinforce positive behavior and keep your motivation high.Embrace Flexibility
Life is unpredictable. Instead of rigidly sticking to a plan, allow yourself to adapt as needed. Flexibility helps you stay on track without unnecessary stress.Prioritize Mental Health
Remember that your mental well-being is the foundation for all other goals. Build habits that support your emotional resilience, like practicing mindfulness, seeking therapy, or connecting with supportive people.
Examples of Mental Health-Friendly Intentions:
“I will check in with myself daily and name one emotion I’m feeling.”
“I will take a 5-minute break to stretch or breathe when I feel overwhelmed.”
“I will reach out to a friend or therapist when I’m struggling.”
The Takeaway
New Year’s resolutions often set us up for disappointment because they’re rigid, unrealistic, and disconnected from our deeper needs. By focusing on intentions and prioritizing mental health, you can create meaningful, lasting change—not just in January, but all year long. So this year, ditch the resolutions and choose kindness, patience, and flexibility as your guiding principles.
Looking to really start prioritizing your mental health in 2025? Working with a therapist can be a great place to start. At Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy, we offer both individual and group therapy services to help you reach your goals. Schedule a free 15-minute call with our intake coordinator to learn more and get started!
